sort of an explanation....

so I haven't posted in awhile because I havent felt "good" mentally....I have been "grumpy" according to athena, and just working through alot in my head....while this post isnt going to make any sense I felt I needed to at least let people know that I hadnt fallen off the face of the earth or something  :)

I have been very busy and stressed out  (more in a later post) and just dealing with life......

anyway, I promise I will post later and more things will make sense....bear with me.....

Christmas Eve

Wow! I really can't believe it is already cmas eve! We have had a great couple of days...really enjoying the fact that Josh has had the last couple of days off.  Lets see....we went to the mall and grabbed a few last minute little gifts, had LOTS of play time- poor daddy keeps getting tackled by two monkeys!- went to an awesome christmas store and looked at dozens and dozens of decorated trees, wreaths, trains etc...., went to waffle house, looked at christmas lights, and had a couple of super fun baths complete with lots of splashing, and making daddy very wet!!! :)

It has just been so nice to be able to spend this extra time with Josh, as well as watch him with the kids. I am so proud of him. He has come so far since Athena was born, and to watch him actually playing, and snuggling and just enjoying his kids, makes me tear up a little bit....I am so happy. This move has been so good for our family. It has not only brought Josh and I closer together and strengthened our marriage, but it has brought Josh and the kid closer....and I wouldnt trade that for anything.

My parents arrived in delaware last night and stopped here to see us (the kids) for a bit before going to my brothers house where they are staying....we didnt tell the kids they were coming. all we said was that after bath time we had a surprise for them......I wish I had been able to get a picture fast enough...the look on athenas face was priceless..she went totally blank at first, then shock,happy,excited,sad and then  leaped into grammies arms. so sweet!!!

well, I need to go now since my children are now awake, well 1 has been awake, but tv was entertaining him :)
Tonight we are going to a candlelight service at our church, and I am actually excited about it!

Merry Christmas!!!!

blessings!!

So after my trip to vermont at thanksgiving time we realized that the tires on my car have pretty much lived their life to their fullest, and are not able to do their job anymore.....this was a very sad realizatrion because my tires are not cheap....the low end low quality sort of affordable tires for my car were $103 a piece which not include mounting and balancing...rough estimate is that it was going to cost us close to $500 for crap tires for my car.....so we were waiting, thankful that we live in delaware this year and hoping that maybe we can get another 6 months out of them.......(not smart, but really dont have any other options right now)
So Thursday night we talked about it again and Josh and I prayed about it...still trying to figure out we were gonna come up with $500.........
Friday morning I was looking on craigslist as a last shot chance to see if there were any....none.  So, I decided to post an item wanted ad....within 10 minutes someone responded that he had 4 tires that were in decent shape...not brand new (totally ok! )  but he didnt tell me how much...anyway, after a few texts and emails h said he would sell them for $85.....for all four tires!!!  then I didnt hear back from him.....yesterday not a word, so we figured that it was either a scam or he changed his mind.
This afternoon, I was kind of annoyed that someone would do that and just disappear so to speak, so I texted him asking him if he changed his mind, or what was up....he responded "sorry I was busy yesterday"   so I asked hm if he could meet josh at work since he is here til 5 today, he said sure.....again didnt think he would show, but about an hour ago josh called and asked me to meet him at work with the checkbook because the guy came, the tires were in good shape, and he was willing to take a check......for 85.00!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am normally not excited about tires or really anything having to do with a car, but these tires were divinely sent to us, and I cant wait to have them on my car!

peace

So, first of all I have to apologize for "stealing" the words to the song below...a friend of mine had it on her blog last week, and parts of it have just been going through my head, so I decided to post it  on my blog this morning...

Sometimes there are songs that just hit you.  For whatever reason they just resonate with something that is going on in your life, something that just happened, or even certain words strike a chord within you.  This has been one of those songs for me.  I think the words are awesome.  They are comforting as well as convicting. I also love the music that goes with the words.....so anyway, I am sharing this today, and I hope that it can comfort,convict,help.....you in some way.

Happy Monday! I am now off to make dough for sugar cookies!  :)

Here I am, Lord, and I’m drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don’t want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You’ve cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I’ve never sinned
But today I feel like I’m just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west
’cause I can’t bear to see the man I’ve been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
’cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I’m in
Today I feel like I’m just one mistake away from You leaving me this way

I know You’ve washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can’t live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word revealsI’m not holding on to You, but You’re holding on to me
You’re holding on to me

Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don’t have to see the man I’ve been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
’cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

 

Directions...anyone??

So the other day I was feeling kind of bummed, and wondering if we what we were doing was what we were supposed to be doing, and feeling kind of discouraged about a bunch of various things...well, then I "talked" (texted/emailed) one of my good friends, and found out that she is also going through some things, and waiting on the Lord.....another email with yet another good friend and I found out she is going through some things as well......
Well, that was kind of like God telling me- Kellie, stop feeling sorry for yourself, you are not the only one going through something, and you are not alone. Call on me, call on your friends, and be there to support each other through these times.

I feel like I have been on a roller coaster that just wont stop.  I had such a great time seeing my friends and family at thanksgiving, and can't wait til I get to visit and see everyone again!  Then there  have been some things that have happened here that have made me feel like the roller coaster keeps going down, really fast....
but thankfully Josh and I keep managing to go back up and level off....for a little bit.  That being said, I am ready to get off the roller coaster and go on a different ride for awhile  :)

This year is rapidly coming to a close and I really cant wait to see what 2011 will hold for our little family...but I know that as long as we are together we can make it.....we've survived this long  :)

thanks...and giving

So today on the way to Church I saw something that I honestly dont think I have ever seen before....I saw someone standing at an  intersection holding a sign that said "hungry,need help"  and I have to admit that he did look legit...but what I saw next amazed me...I saw the driver in the car behind me roll down his window and hold out money for this man, then another person, and another person, in total 4 cars rolled down their windows and gave this man money, and each time, this man bowed his head to them,shook their hand and said thank you.

It made me think, how hardened have we become to this "panhandling" that we avert our eyes, and make sure our car doors are locked.  Or even mutter under our breath -probably gonna spend the money on _____.

I have to admit that I did check my door locks, but then after seeing these acts of pure generosity I was wishing that I had a little extra something to give to him as well.....

I am sure that some people would say oh it's just because it is the christmas season, thats not the norm......well, maybe it should be.  maybe we should look past our own issues or stereotypes and remember that there are people out there who have no other options, and need to stand on the corner with a sign asking, no begging for someone, anyone to pity them enough to help...

So, I just had to share that today. That is what I saw and I was convicted of my own actions....

starting to feel like christmas

So yesterday me and the kids went out and picked up an inexpensive artificial tree .  it said "6ft"....now I am not the smartest person in the world, but either my husband had a growth spurt, or they slightly over exaggerated the height of the tree!  But its ok because athena and caleb are enthralled by it- every time caleb walks by it he has to say "mommie,Bismas tree,Bismas lights...wow" and athena keeps telling me that it is so,so beautiful, and really that is all that matters.
So, again this year with money being insanely tight I am amazed that over the year while I was yard saleing, or perusing craigslist, or just plain getting awesome deals at stores, I have managed to collect enough things that everyone will have something new and/or fun to open Christmas morning! 
Today athena and I are going to attempt at putting some lights out on our railing out front...hopefully we can do it and it will look "so so beautiful"   :)
---->as kind of a sidenote, Josh and I would really appreciate your prayers.  We are going through some things, and waiting for direction and just knowing that other people are praying is very encouraging<------

I have been reading that VT has a TON of snow, and I never, ever thought I would say this, but I really miss being in VT.....it is freezing cold here, and there is no snow, and it just is so much harder to get into the christmas spirit ....I mean last week, it was like 50 degrees, and it just seemed very odd to see christmas decorations on houses......oh well....

so, today I have my pine candle lit and the house smells like a christmas tree, and later we will do some kind of baking, and then maybe a trip to the mall to wander and look at decorations....that should help  :)

Happy Holidays to everyone, and remember to appreciate even the tiniest things....like snowflakes, or christmas candles, or chocolate, or...oh YAY Peanut Blossom cookies that I can make and eat this year!!

not the best week .........

Ugh.. I am so far behind on my cleaning but last week we were all 4 down for the count.  It seems that we all had a lovely touch of the flu (?) or a really bad cold...either way I think we all thought we were going to die  :)
Seriously though, we were very unpleasant to be near, so probably good that most all of you who read this live very far away....although I would have cried tears of happiness if my mommy was here to help...oh well.
so I had been having an awful week, sick, no sleep, taking care of my family while still being sick...I was a mess....then this morning I almost stayed home from church- so exhausted, and athena is still a little sick, but I decided, no, we are going to go.  and I am so glad that I did!  Mr Dale and Caleb have a special bond, and the two of them had a great time in the nursery, while athena got to make a sun catcher in childrens church and she was so excited to show me!  Of course, I love my ladies class, and the music was such a blessing to me during the service.
So, tomorrow starts a new week, and I have three things I am working on:
1) sloooooow to anger, and try to get frustrated so easily
2) put in a little extra play time with my kids
3) be a supportive and understanding wife
===========================================
Phew! Now that I wrote them down, it feels a little less likely to accomplish all three.....but I can keep working on it!

Now, the kids are nestled snug in their beds, so it's time for Kellie to snuggle with Josh  :)  Sorry, poetry and that stuff just isn't one of my skeeels.  :)

Have a wonderful night, and a restful week!