random.....and I really hate blood tests....

Howdy everyone out there in blogger world......
I had an interesting phone call the other day completely out of the blue, and definitely not expected. At first I was hesitant about it, but decided it wouldnt hurt anything to talk...so I did, and it was a completely positive experience that if I did not believe in God I would say was just weird and random, but I know that nothing God plans is random, and that he puts things in our paths when HE wants us to receive them, not when we think we should get them.  yes this is rather vague, nothing is definite right now, but it was just so awesome for me to experience his direction and leading in something that I did not think at all was an option......
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Ok, sorry I will explain myself in a later post when things are more definite.  this next item on my agenda is something that most of you know about but for those of you who dont, I will explain in a minute.
I am not usually a procrastinator, but I have been bad.  I was supposed to get some labs done to check my levels (its been over a year) this past week, but I kept putting it off and putting it off, and now another week has gone by.  I dont know why it unnerves me, but it does.  I think it is the combination of 1) blood being taken from my body-alot of blood, not just 1 tube!- I hate blood tests, if blood was supposed to be outside our body we wouldnt have skin (just sayin') 2)I know the tumor is there, its just the not knowing if it has grown, or moved again, or what the next treatment step will be...I dont like unknown. 3) Its dumb, I work in a medical office, I know that if you pretend something isnt there, it still is, but I think sometimes I just pretend there isnt a tumor......
anyway, all that to say I need to suck it up and go get my blood drawn, and then I need to meet with my dr to find out the results, and make another treatment plan.
ok, for those of you who dont know, dont freak out, its not as bad as it sounds. its not great, but anyway, here it is...
we found out after a multitude of tests back in 2005 that I have a pituitary adenoma. basically a tumor on my pituitary gland which made me unable to get pregnant.  once this was diagnosed and I was put on (evil) medicine I was able to get pregnant with athena. I have to get my prolactin levels checked about once a year, and usually an mri is required as well to get a visual of the size and location of the tumor.  one time it moved ...weird.  now its not a huge tumor, like the size of a pencil eraser, but still sometimes the whole concept that I have a tumor inside my head gets to be unnerving.  I have not been taking the medicine for just about a year because 1) I hate it, it makes me so sick  2)I didnt have insurance and the rx ran out 3) the main reason I would take the medicine in the past was so I could regulate and attempt to get pregnant. well, since we are DONE having babies, I just kind of forgot to take the meds..... yeah my dr will not be happy with me next week  :/
so, in a nutshell thats been on my mind lately, and hopefully sometime next week I will get to blog that my levels were low and my dr is happy!........Ill keep you posted!
if you have any questions, feel free to ask me!!