sadness

I am not even sure what to write.....I am so emotional about (another horrific) shooting that happened today. ....I gave my kids ginormous hugs when I picked them up tonight, and we snuggled watching polar express, but in the back of my mind all I could think was, this could have been such a different night for us....the what ifs are overwhelming me, and the first thing Josh said when he got home was "today made me seriously consider having the kids homeschooled"....I know that in the grand scheme of things we only can control so much that happens, but dear Lord, I can not even begin to fathom what these people are going through....parents who sent their children...kindergardeners-4th grade this morning, and will never see them again on this earth, children who survived, but will now have to live with the visions of what they witnessed, children who lost parents....a friend of mines sister in law teaches at that school, and as of late this afternoon, neither her nor her daughter (who is a student there) have been located......I believe in God, and I know that he has a plan, and we might not always understand it, but tonight its very hard to understand the why.
I have some questions...not religous, just questions and frustrations....these are not meant to cause debate or anything, just questions that I have had over the years....
Why is it seemingly so easy for someone to obtain a weapon?  Can we make laws, or rules or something that  people need to pass some sort of mental health exam prior to obtaining a gun....
How can people still get into school so easily? After the various school shootings I thought most schools had more security....
And more of a statement, but I pray these people that are suffering tonight, whether physically or mentally, I pray that the community has counselling, and help set up for them.....

I just put my babies to bed. safe and sound in our home....yes they were grumpy and tired, but they are alive. I can hug them tomorrow morning, and play with them, they are here with me....there are parents tonight looking at empty beds, in a room that will be empty, and my heart breaks for them.....Tears are running down my face as I think about the pain that they are going through, and while I can not say I know how they feel, I can only imagine, and I selfishly pray that these monsters that caused this are punished one way or another....whether in this life or the next.