so, I am sorry that I haven't been posting daily, I know that a few people have said they liked my blog, but please keep it going...so sorry, I am working on it! :)

I don't have anything overly significant to write about, but I have been struggling the last few days with lots of things. Mostly all inside my own head which is the most dangerous!! Because I have been home with the kids, money is much tighter than we are used to/planned for it to be etc...so we have been adjusting to living a little differently- not that we spent money all the time or even frivolously but now we have to really pay attention to where our money goes.  So, I have been feeling .......well....guilty isnt the right word, but best describes how I have felt I guess.....I am bringing in very little income watching Leah, but yet I am bringing in something and for that I so thankful! It not only gives athena someone to play with, but it helps us out financially too!
I want to go to VT for thanksgiving, I am going to vt for thanksgiving, but it isnt looking like Josh will be able to come with us.  He doesnt think he can get the time off d/t opening a new shop in dover, and other work stuff.....I am a little nervous about taking the kids that far in the car by myself, espcially since I have never driven that far myself, let alone with my kids.....so that is of course weighing on me........
I dont' know, I have just been feeling really tired, and melancholy lately, and with joshs schedule I haven't had a break or "me time" pretty much since we got here.  Dont misunderstand, I LOVE my kids, and I love spending time with them, and I am so very thankful for the Job Josh has, but being that my parent are in vt, I havent been able to call them and just say hey can you watch the kids for a couple of hours so I can get some errands done, or take a nap, or whatever.......again, not complaining, just saying........
so, we went to the pumpkin patch/fall festival again yesterday and painted more pumpkins, athena loves that!!  and it was a great day! we played outside with the kids, went to mcdonalds for lunch (a special treat from daddy) played all afternoon, and all in all it was a great day---usually those kind of days make me feel great and look forward to the next day, but all I wanted to do was go to bed. I made myself stay up and watch tv with Josh, but by 9pm, I had to go to bed I was so tired......no, I am not preggers as some of you might be thinking right now......I think I have just overspent all my energy along with fighting off a virus, and I am of course missing my parents, and friends who are all in vt, wishing Josh could get out of work early today to spend more time with us, but knowing that he can't....
some days I just really feel alone and isolated.....especially the days ironically when I watch leah becuase I cant go anywhere when she is here.......
ok, enough, I am going to go watch a silly movie with the kids so we can laugh and have fun before lunch/naps.......