tuesday

Today was supposed to be my last day at  Evergreen, but due to circumstances out of my control I ended up having to call out to take care of my kiddos....After picking up athena we went to buttered noodles to play and check out their "goodies"  my boy had a complete meltdown so we had to leave (thats the rule) we went home and rested for a little bit and then decided  to head to the apple orchard and get some apples and cider....sooooooo nice outside today!!
After that we had to stop at big lots for a few things, and then we went to the park for a bit....thankfully I had planned a crock pot dinner anyway so we got to stay at the park a little longer :)  we got home and pretty much ate dinner, and headed up for bath time....then the kids kind of fell asleep...not a tough evening for sure! ;)
tomorrow is playgroup and I can't wait!!!  Then tomorrow night athenas got a bonfire thatwill be really fun...hopefully I can get caleb to snooze so he can come with us  and actually stay awake  :)
Happy tuesday everyone!!!

what a great weekend!

well, I have to say that last week was rough...but by the end of the week I was working hard at making a serious effort to be happy and gentle.  Saturday was lovely...yes it was rainy and gloomy, but me and my monkeys stayed in our jammies all morning, and had fun coloring and playing....later on we went to costco and everyone was happy :)  it was a "thumbs up day" <---athenas description of the day.  sunday was also nice. the kids slept and we went to church, then my moms for lunch,a little apple picking with grammie and boppy, the park and then home again to play a little before Josh got home from work.
This morning was nice a smooth.....I had to wake up both kiddos to get ready to go and drop offs went well.....work was boring and made me feel useless and unecessary, but thats ok...tonight we went to visit my friend who is having another surgery tomorrow....I hope that this surgery will take care of the infections and she can start to really recover......
anyway, I am determined that this will be a good week!  How about you? what are your plans for the week??

finally friday!

SO if yo have been reading my posts you would know that I have been struggling with my girl lately....well, this afternoon she was wonderful! We had some attitude pop up, but it went away pretty fast, which honestly, I needed. I worked this morning, and was almost hesitant to go home, but now am glad I did  :)
Today was her 6 week progress report for school, and she got S or S+ in everything!! and an O in showing reverence for Gods word...pretty cool!  by the way S=satisfactory and O=Outstanding...anything else was "negative" so I am thrilled that she is doing so well. just reinforces our decision for private school...
Tomorrow I am off...And I promised the kids we would stay in our jammies, and snuggle since we dont have to go anywhere unless we want to tomorrow!!!  I Sooooooo need this...hoping for a super fun day tomorrow...unfortunately my hubby has to work, and we are so thankful for all the hard,long days he puts in for us!!!!  LOVE YOU JOSH!!!!

we are all ok :)

 feel after my last post that maybe I should explain myself a little bit....First off I am ok, and I have been talking to someone about my "issues" and we have a plan....I love my kids, and would never trade having them for anything, and I am very proud of my hubby...I have been struggling personally with some things, and he has really stepped up and I am proud of him! :)
Monday was probably close to one of the worst days I have had in a very long time.  I lost control with my kids, and went in to have a horrible day at work, came home and just couldnt wait to go to bed and have the day be done.
Yesterday morning was much better...I was calm, my girl was calm, and  the boys had a great day together, I cam home to supper simmering, dishes done, and the house in some sort of order....
This morning Josh took the boy to my moms for an hour while I went to HR for my health screen...pick up my girl, and went to visit a friend who is home and recovering from surgery...it was nice to talk to her and let the kids play for a bit...
Every day gets a little better , so dont worry about me I am working on me the best way I know how (along with help from some professionals)  :)

All right, this may be a slightly random post, but its been awhile since I posted, and after reading various posts from my blogger friends, I am feeling a bit sheepish with my lack of posts.....
-my birthday was last thursday,and it was so fun to open the gifts from my girl....thoughtful,sweet gifts, that SHE made and picked out...my hubby spoiled me with not one,but two vera bradley bags...one has since been put away for christmas, and I am pretty sure I will forgot about it by then! :) we went out to lunch, relaxed at home since it was a rainy day and then had cake and ice cream with my parents...a lovely day.
- I officially gave my notice last week and am really excited to start my new job oct 3! I wish I could go back to upeds, but this will be a new chapter, and I will make new friends, and hopefully still stay in touch with my bff's at heavergreen! :)
-I have been struggling so much with my girl.  I know at times she is still so very jealous of her little brother and it is not easy finding that balance, and showing her just how much she is loved, and that no one will ever take her place in my heart. this weekend I made a point of taking her out twice, just me and her, and we had fun! nothing fancy, we went to the dollar store and then goodwill....both places she loves to wander and look at things, and if we find stuff its not expensive :)
-I have a temper. nothing new to most people, but lately I am set off really easily.  I have been short with my kids, and my hubby. then yesterday at church the topic of genleness came up in sunday school....it was like being smacked in the back of the head. I am not being gentle, and I know I need to.  I just feel so overwhelmed so often that my gentleness flies out the window...so any of you who read this, if you have any, seriously, ANY advice for me, to be less overwhelmed, and more gentle I would love to hear from you...seriously.   I am feeling like a "bad mom" and its not a nice feeling.
-I need a mom-cation....I know I have said this before, but I feel like I am slipping down a hill towards a pit, and at times I am moving way too fast!  I have a friend with 2 little kiddos and we are going to try to swap babysitting to give each other breaks once in awhile, but with JOshs schedule, and her hubbys schedule I have no idea how we are gonna make it work....but we will do our best, or die trying  lol!!!
anyway, my boy is asleep (I woke him up accidentally so I had to resettle him) so now maybe I can spend some time with my hubby before going to bed...tomorrow is a new day, and I have a fresh start again ...thank goodness!!!!

1 less car...and other changes

So today was one of those days....my kids were stinkers during the night which resulted in a little girl who has bad dreams snuggled literally in my armpit, and a little boy who appeared and was crying for candy in his sleep ....ugh! 
The day at work was insane....started nutty and stayed that way.  we have two new people who are doing an awesome job and learning the stuff really fast, but they have questions and we want to explain things to them so they learn, and that just means other things take longer.  Not complaining, but again, just adds to the craziness.  It was really busy both phonewise and peoplewise, and it felt like we didnt get a chance to take a breath until lunchtime.  needless to say I was happy to go home at 5.
BUT I didnt get to go home after work.....I got to meet my little family at the car dealership...normally it would have been a bummer, but I was picking them up because the dealership bought our maxima from us outright.  This was exciting because it means  1) we now only have 2 cars   2) now only have 1 car payment 3) we got more than we owed so we can put some money in the bank and make the next tuition payment for athena.
Then my stubborn little man didnt want to fall asleep tonight. my girl, out like clockwork at 7:30....the boy....8:40 before he fell asleep, and then woke up again randomly for a few minutes.....hopefully I will only have to share my bed with my hubby tonight, but we will see.....
Also, today at work I gave my notice.  I was offered a job at fletcher allen and I accepted it. I start there oct 3.  It will mean more changes but in the longrun I think they will be good.  caleb will go to preschool on the mornings I work, and then my mom will watch the kids for a few hours until I am done at 5, and 1 day a week both kids will get to stay all day at school.....It means letting go on my part and letting someone else teach my monkeys, very qualified teachers, but still......
anyway, now that lunches are packed, kids are sleeping, flowers were ordered for my friend in the hospital, hubby is watching football, so I am gonna go snuggle up to him and hopefully fall asleep soon...who knows what tomorrow will hold for me!!!

remembering the tragedy

Ten years ago but yet I still can remember exactly where I was, what I was doing and who I was with when I heard that there had been an attack on one of the twin towers.
I was teaching at The Howard Center, we were outside on the side playground, and I was helping a little boy climb up the ladder of one of the climbers. Judy came out and told us to take the kids back in to the classroom immediately, there had been an attack.......
I remember getting a phone call from Josh checking to make sure I was ok since I was working in a state building...and then the parents coming in frantically to get their kids and head home to make phone calls to friends and family who worked in or near the towers...a few of my students lost family /  friends in the attack.
I remember getting home from work that night and just watching in amazement and shock as they played over and over again the images from earlier in the day.  Hearing the numbers that were lost. The list getting longer and longer as the hours and days went on.
Praise the Lord, I did not personally lose anyone in the attacks, but it still amazes me the stories that we hear. People who were thought to have been killed, found..people who should have been on one of those flights, but weren't...people who were running late for work that morning, and so survived...The way that this horrendous tragedy brought people together....Overwhelming thankfulness for the fire,rescue workers that risked and gave their lives to try to help others....Thankfulness to their families, and Heartache to the spouses of those workers, who became widowed in an instant, children who have had to grow up without mom or dad ....so many people were touched by this tragedy.
I will always remember that day.......where were you? what do you remember?

what's up?

Hi there!
It seems like forever since I have posted, and I feel lik I have all these thoughts running around inside my head and I am not quite sure which ones to grab and write about and which ones to put away for another day......

 my nephew griffin james, or as athena and I like to call him "little g"  :)

                             Alex had a great time working outside with athena and caleb.

well, my brother and sister in law and my 2 nephews were here for a week, and it was so nice seeing them, but it was really great to see how the cousins just pick up where they left off and played really well the whole time! They went to the park, buttered noodles, the fair, and just had a really awesome time playing together. I felt bad when my kiddos realized that they went home today...they actually cried poor babies...
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If anyone reads the posts that I dont publish you know that I have been having a hard time emotionally and really I have no reason for it. I tend to get overwhelmed and then just have trouble functioning and being happy, but it seems that my black cloud has lifted and I am feeling more like myself so I amhoping that this "better" mood continues.

                                    Athena on the first ride....she picked a "fancy pony"

                     Of course Caleb went on a car ride, and of course he picked yellow!

                        next up athena was "driven" by her brother (and also her cousin later on)
The fair has been going on, and as a friend of mine texted me yesterday.....I am such a carnie! I LOVE the fair! I love the food, the atmosphere, peoplewatching.....and now that my kids are older, I LOVE watching them have fun!! They went on rides, played games, watched the circus, saw animals, and just had a great time and it was so much fun doing the fair for them!!
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Joshs back is slowly healing . he goes to the pain clinic early october so we will see what they say. I am soproud of him though. through this back pain he did not miss 1 day of work! I know there are some people who would say, yeah, and he shouldnt miss, but this is a big deal and I am very proud of him!
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Athena has finished 2 weeks of kindergarten and is doing great! I am biased, but she is the cutest kiddo in there, and daily we are reassured that we made the right decision in sending her to a private school this year.  yes it is a huge sacrifice, but its worth it for our girl!!

                                                  athenas first day of school

I have friends who are having babies...its baby season right now! 2 down, 2 to go that I know of :) it almost makes me want another baby, but now my "babies" are becoming so independant that I wouldnt want to change anything. This next phase in our life is full of fun and lots of surprises!!!!

                                                                                                              Bye!!!