my black cloud.....

Well, I am not really sure what to say tonight.....I have been feeling like there is a big black cloud hovering above my head and instead of it going away, it seems to just get bigger and bigger....
Last week was athenas first week of kindergarten and she did great!!! morning time wasnt super smooth, but we managed to get ready and to school on time every day so that was good.  Josh did something to his back (10 yrs ago he herniated 2 discs in his lower back so they always kind of bother him) to the point that he called and set up a chiropractor appt and dr appt for himself...thankfully he never missed any work, and hopefully they will set up a cortizone shot for him and hopefully it will work ....
I feel like I havent slept in weeks, which is odd becuase most nights I go to bed by 9 cuz Im tired. granted I dont usually sleep through the night becuase someone wakes up needing something.....I just feel completely overwhelmed and honestly, and I dont even want to admit this becuase I know its not good, but I am happiest lately when I am at work. I laugh, I have fun, and I actually dread the end ofthe day when I have to go home.....My kids are always fighting with each other, I feel like as much as I work at cleaning the house, it doesnt get or stay clean, Overall I just feel like I am failing at being a wife, mother,daughter, friend etc.....